Loving living in the wild

If someone asked me this morning whether I believe in sacred animals, I would have to say yes.  Have you ever seen an elk in the wild?  Belle, Gabby and I took a walk this morning.  We easily walked the length from the house to the mailboxes and really wanted to walk more.  That in itself is a huge improvement from where I was this time last year.  :-)  I decided that since Gabby wasn't on a leash and she only comes half the time that I ask her, it was time to go back to the house. 

Luckily the dogs were busy sniffing here and there because I looked down at the end of the road and saw the elk.  I have only been blessed one other time in the years we have lived here to get to see them.  I quickly brought the dogs in and got the binoculars.  Oh my, what majestic creatures they are!  Ok, so when you see them at NW Trek, they are totally outweighed by the bison.  And I think they just don't get the billing that they should there.  But here, in pretty much my backyard...wow.  They deserve the name of sacred creature.  I would even say that I felt like they were guardians of our woods.

When I was younger I read a lot of fantasy books.  You know, the kind where a person walking in the woods would come upon a group of fairies playing in the woods.  They would either watch quietly until they fell asleep and would wonder in the morning if it had all been a dream, or they would join in the fun and often get spirited away to where the fairies live.  That is how I felt watching the elk.  I felt blessed to have the chance to view them. 

There were only three that I could see today.  They were wary of me, even with as far away as I was.  Only one stood and watched me as the others walked further down into the field.  I wonder how many times we have scared them as we walked in the pitch black down in that area in the mornings.  I wonder how they made themselves invisible, not only to me, but to my dogs.  These are the things I love to think about when I have time to contemplate life. 

Catching up on life

I am writing with a big, grey cat in front of my screen and I cannot see a thing.  So if I have some typos please forgive me.  He likes my cursor.  His name is Gandalf.

I have been up since 4:30 this morning.  I went to bed late for me, at 10:00 PM.  I usually go to bed much earlier since I get up early most days.  But today I thought I would be able to sleep in.  NOT.  I woke up and my mind raced around and around.  Lots of things going on in my life right now. 

What?  What is going on?  Well, lets see.  My acupuncturist is back from a long maternity leave.  I have missed her dearly.  What?  Yes, this chick loves her acupuncture and her acupuncturist.  I would say that of any of my medical practioners, she "GETS" me.  She gets me with all of my quirks and beliefs and love and integrity and craziness. 

What else?  Well, you know...about a week ago there was this earthquake...and it was followed by a really big tsunami...and now radiation from a very sad nuclear power plant.  Yes this was all in Japan.  Yes I live in the U.S.  But...you know, my heart has not forgotten.  Japan is near and dear to me, as are so many people who live there.  And I try not to worry.  But lack of being able to DO anything about it gets me sometimes. 

And?  Well, things are going well at home.  We hired a very dear and very trusted friend to come help us put our home in order.  It was an act of desperation because we were going under fast!  And I am very glad I did it.  We feel cared for and blessed.  And she even wrote a note to Carl.  What is better than that? 

Dogs are good...except that Belle is trying to take on her protecting duties.  She almost got to sleep outside with Sampson last night because she wouldn't come in.  I am sure she would have been fine.  But...ummm...she is not as "grown up" as Sampson and she was barking a lot.  I don't think that my neighbors would have liked it much. 

Cats are good.  They even came out when we had company last night.  But ok, I think it had something to do with WHO it was.  I think Anthony has some animal whisperer in him.  I need to tell him that.

The kid (as Sherry calls him) is...not so good.  Don't get me wrong, he is healthy and happy when he is home.  But school is a problem right now.  His teacher is "fierce" and he seems to be getting very mixed messages about what "behaving" is.  I feel for him and I am not sure what I can do for him.  Conferences are this week, so I guess this is a good time to step up. 

Work is backed up.  I am glad to be working.  I like a lot about my work.  I like the people I work with.  I love my new office.  I guess I don't need to say much more than that. 

This entry is a bit different than my stories, but I am a bit stopped up right now.  I think it is from worry.  I know worrying does no one any good, and least of all me.  But sometimes it is hard not to worry.  It is hard to have faith.  It is hard to believe that there is a path that I am walking on and that God and his angels are walking next to me.  But now that I have written a bit, I feel better.  I feel more hope.  Writing is good.  Thanks for listening. 

Today

So much to talk about today.  It has been a while.  Not because I haven't had anything to say.  More because I haven't had the time to say it. 

Yesterday I woke up to images from the 8.9 earthquake that was centered in Sendai.  Honestly, I don't know what to say about the earthquake and following tsunami.  They are saying that the numbers lost may rise above 10000.  That is so amazing for a country who is probably the most prepared in the world for earthquakes.  Even with all of their systems in place, they couldn't save everyone from the tsunami.  It just came too quickly. 

I woke up to an email from an old friend of mine.  I had just gotten back in touch with him a few days ago.  He said, "There was a big earthquake in Tokyo.  And by the way, I come to the States on a regular basis.  I would love to see you."  I have a feeling that he didn't realize the extent of the damage when he wrote that.  Earthquakes are such a normal occurrence in Japan.  I think that they hoped that this would be another of the same.  But it is not. 

I was very upset by the scenes yesterday morning and I was glued to the computer until I was almost late for work.  It wasn't until I was able to find a Japanese television station that I could watch live over the web that I was finally able to settle into my work day.  Several of my co-workers came in to see me with this question or that and they were surprised to hear me listening to Japanese TV while I was working.  I often forget that they do not know that part of me. 

Here is a link that a friend of mine sent me.  It shows all of the earthquakes that have happened in that past month or so.  Wow.  Take a look:

http://mapserver.gis.ttu.edu/japanquake/

I talked to my friend on the Japan Sea side of the island this morning.  He said that they had a big and long earthquake last Wednesday.  He had a feeling that there was something bigger coming. 

He also said that they were without power for quite a few hours after the major earthquake and they are a good distance from the epicenter.  I thought it was interesting that they said that the 8.9 earthquake was 150% stronger than the earthquake that happened in Kobe, Japan some years back when I was living in Tokyo.  There were a lot of deaths in that earthquake, but I don't think that they had the tsunamis. 

My friend in Tokyo reported that they are being asked to shut their power off when they leave their homes in the morning.  They said that there is just not enough electricity to go around. 

My other friend who works downtown Tokyo was unable to get home on Friday and had to sleep at her company building.  I was so glad she checked in with me to tell me she was ok.  We haven't heard from her since then though.  But she did say her family was ok.  Her home is nearer the epicenter than where she works. 

Well, I will stop here for now.  I almost wish that I were over there so I could do something...help in some way.  Entertain or...just give comfort.  But for now I have to be at peace with knowing that they are calling all the experts together and after all Japan is the most prepared country in the world for earthquakes.  May God bless them.

Chipper's turn

Chipper...he was a miniature red brindle dachshund.  I guess they were pretty rare.  I actually had a woman stop me in the parking lot of Home Depot one time to ask me if he was still "intact".  He wasn't, so she was bummed. 

I called him "Chipper-D".  I first met him through an outreach that I was involved in.  I was matched with a woman who needed someone to come and visit.  I am good at listening and that is just what she needed.  She was an African American woman who grew up in the East.  She had lots of good stories to tell and she enjoyed telling them.  I enjoyed listening to them.  We became fast friends.  While I listened, I threw the ball for her dog.  He was a crazy little thing.  He was obsessed by his ball and later when I told my friend (who also visited his home) that I was going to take him, she said, "He is very badly behaved!  How are you going to control him?!"  In any case, during my visits I would throw the ball down the hall and he would chase it and bring it back.  He didn't like to give it back, but he would if he knew I would throw it again. 

Chipper's Mom became ill and passed away six months after we met.  It was a great loss for me.  I was invited to her bedside and I was in her home when she passed. 

Then there was the question of her dog.  I found out later that her family left Chipper outside for several days during the funeral and all that was going on at that time.  It was September and he was not only a short-haired dachshund, but he was also kept indoors 99% of the time by his mom.  There was talk of selling him and this and that.  I finally stepped up and asked that they give him to me. 

I went to pick him up after the funeral service.  I was dressed up and was already worried about how he would fit in to my household.  We had two big dogs, Bear and Lizzie, and I knew Chipper was a little hellion.  I remember Chipper biting my shoe and then proceeding to pee on it to show me just how much he appreciated me taking him home.  By the time you can imagine I was not impressed and was wondering what I had gotten myself into.  But I knew that he would eventually be put down if I didn't take him.  He was not wanted. 

Chipper came home.  I cannot say that he had a perfect life with us...ok, yes I can.  I so wanted a baby and Chipper filled that hole for me.  He loved to sit next to me on the couch or on my lap.  He got to sleep in bed with us.  He was a spoiled boy.  He got along really well with Lizzie.  They would play and play.  But there was a lot of competition between he and Bear.  One time he pushed Bear too far (think 113 pound dog against a dachshund) and I had to football kick Chipper from Bear's jaws.  Not a pretty sight.  Bear for the most part put up with him, but he could only be pushed so far. 

I have to stop and say that we worked with him and he was much more behaved.  I brought him back to visit his mom's son and his family.  They were shocked and surprised at the change.

Later, Chipper got sick.  I didn't know enough about dachshunds.  I had only had big dogs.  He hurt his back.  It was a sad day.  Acupuncture really helped, but eventually we had to put him on prednisone.  It was a good option, but I believe that we did not take him off of it at a slow enough pace.  He became blind and got a disease.  It is funny, but I have been wracking my brain for the name of the disease, but I cannot remember.  It affected his heart and his overall health.  But at the beginning it was his blindness that worried us.

Chipper was the best blind dog in the universe.  We were worried about him and considered putting him down, but his nose served him well.  After his blindness, he and Bear got along a lot better.  We even moved from his safe little yard out to the country.  He would go out in the unfenced yard with the other dogs.  He only got lost once and then it never happened again.  I was in awe of him. 

Chipper lived for three years after he went blind and two of those he lived out in the country where there were lots of smells and fun for him.  He loved to rest in the grass and bake in the sun.  He was 9 when he finally passed away.  It was a beautiful sunny day in the country.  The veterinarian came out to our place and cried with us when it was time.  She said he was the best dachshund she had ever met.  We prayed over him and held him.  I feel like he had a good life and a good death. 

Walking

I took a walk this morning.  I wish you could have shared it with me.  I will do my best to paint a picture for you, but it is never as good as the real thing.

Put my bathrobe on this morning over my t-shirt and exercise pants.  It was just getting light out and I knew the dogs had to go out.  Sometimes these days I let them out on their own, especially in the morning when I am in a rush.  Well, today I put my coat on over my bathrobe and slipped on some shoes.  I expected to walk around the driveway, or maybe down the road a bit.  But once I got going...the birds were waking up.  They were chirping and talking to us.  They were getting ready for the day.  It was a call to my feet to keep moving. 

The girls (dogs) were full of vim and vigor.  They danced and pranced around me as we moved further along.  A bunny quickly ran across our path...unnoticed.  The girls had their noses to the ground and they were sniffing and sniffing.  Tim says that dogs have a different sense of time than we do.  He says when they are sniffing, they are "seeing" things that have happened in the past.  Mind blowing...

We walked down the road the "wild way" and got down to the swamp/creek.  The birds were having a hayday by that time and the sun was full up.  Or at least the sun was fighting its way through the misty fog by that time.  There has been a lot of rain and melting snow lately.  Things were wet.  I began to wish that the shoes that I had slipped on were my hiking boots.  Oh well, I was far enough away from the house now to not want to go back and get them. 

We went down into the neighbor's field.  The tall grass was all bent over from the recent snow and as I stepped out onto the grass it crunched under my feet.  I hadn't realized how cold it still was.  I guess since the fields are so open to the weather, it can get colder or warmer there than up in the woodsy area where we live. 

The girls love the fields.  They run, they sniff, they run, they did, they check this smell out, they check this smell out.  When I call them, they come running at full bore...ok, well just sometimes.  Sometimes they are up to their elbows in mud and they are reveling in the smells and the love of the chase.  Not sure what they are hunting for in the mud and muck, but I can tell it is something good.  They run to each other every once in a while to see what the other has found.

By this time, I have noticed the sound of the river. It sounds full and rushing.  I haven't been this far down in the field for a while...well actually since it snowed and when I went tropping down there in the snow.  That was about a week ago and the snow has melted and fed the river.  We walk along the river.  The dogs know to stay away from it when it is in its full glory like today.  We walk further down and I call the girls.  We get to the beach area and I realize that the sandy part of the beach is all underwater.  Wow.  I haven't seen the river like this for a while.  It is wider and fuller.  The voice of the river is different than it is in the summer.  It is rolling and rushing.  I can't heard the birds anymore. 

It is time to go home.  It is full light by now.  The neighbors will be waking up and honestly I don't want to show off my bathrobe and crazy hair.  We get up into the middle field and the goat dog starts barking.  He knows us and likes us...but he is on patrol and he is not about to let us pass without telling us that we shouldn't be out prowling around at this time of the morning.  I think we actually woke him up.  He is busy at night making sure we are all safe and early morning is when he gets to sleep. 

He stands stock still when he is barking.  Tail up and at attention.  He doesn't change his mood until Belle goes up there (while I am wildly yelling at her to come back -- so much for not waking up the neighbors).  She play bows in front of the goat dog and wags her tail.  He wants to show how serious he is...but who can resist this beauty and the fun that she is offering?  His tail starts to wag.  He lets her run around in his yard...I am yelling...trying to be quiet, but she is not supposed to be in their yard.  I squat down to wait and see if she will come.  The goat dog loves me.  He looks up and sees me squatting down.  He comes down into the field for a good love.  He knows he will get it.  We are friends. 

Well of course Belle runs after him...phew I catch her collar.  I give the goat dog a good scratch with one hand while holding Belle with the other.  "Let's go home."  I call Gabby, but she is digging and up to her elbows going after something.  She will come soon and I am not worried about her. 

Belle pulls down on her collar until she is choking.  We are close enough to the house by this time and I let her go.  Yes, I have been taken in by her before, but she is such a good girl, I am once again duped.  She runs back into the field and runs circles around the goat dog.  Even when I run towards the house and call her name, she will have nothing to do with me.  Oh well, I leave them both in the field.  They will come home soon...I hope.

Hurt feelings

Today is one of those days that I am struggling with hurt feelings.  I work on this a lot.  I know from a logical standpoint that I get to choose who hurts me and who doesn't.  But my issue seems to be why would someone go out of their way to hurt me (or my family) when they have the chance?  I just don't get it.  As a matter of fact, I REALLY don't get it.  I don't go out of my way to hurt others.  That is the way I live my life.  I have plenty of opportunities to make people miserable.  But I do not take them.  It is the way I live. 

I thought I would have more to say on this subject, but I feel like this is enough.